Fellowship of the Thing
by Kyviera
Summary: What would have happened if nine girls had also been in the FELLOWSHIP. Plz read and rate.
1. The Council of Elrond

The Fellowship of the Thing  
  
Disclaimer: Some of these characters are Tolkien's the only character that are mine are the fangirls. I also used some of the movie scenes and quotes. I will return the guys quite unharmed, only slightly flustered. And as for the rest of it, it will be returned promptly and in working condition.  
  
Author's Note: Hello again everyone! This will be my second fanfic and I hope you will enjoy. Sorry if some of the quotes are wrong. This will be a humorous fanfic. What if the fellowship had been 9 guys and 9 girls. And guess what, they're fangirls! They might be fangirls but they wanted to handle this on their own. They wanted an all girl fellowship. Flames are unwelcome. If you have something bad to say about my story please say it politely. And no offense to fangirls (or girls for that matter), but I had to make some characters slightly air headed. Don't worry, I'd never insult girls, seeing as I am one. (based on the movie)  
  
Chapter One: The Council of Elrond  
  
Elrond looks around at the council.  
  
"I thought this was only supposed to be men.", he whispered to an elf next to him.  
  
"It was but so many women came to complain about us being sexist that we had to let some of them in. Besides, I checked, some of these women are just as deadly as the men.", said the elf.  
  
"Well, anyway we have to get started.", said Elrond.  
  
As soon as everyone has become quiet, Frodo placed the One Ring for everyone to see. The men just stared.  
  
With his elven hearing, Legolas could hear some of the girls whispering behind their hands, "Is that supposed to be a ring?", or, "Ugh, how tacky!"  
  
Legolas groaned. He saw some of them giggling and whispering giddily behind their hands. Fangirls. As the men started to argue the girls rolled their eyes. Men.  
  
When Frodo jumped up and said, "I will take the ring.", another small hobbit girl jumped up and said, "No, I want to take the ring to Mount Doom!"  
  
"Who are you?", said Elrond. "I am Lobelia Bumbleroot."  
  
"Well, I suppose both of you should take the ring.", said Elrond.  
  
They both looked dissatisfied, but they just shrugged.  
  
"Uhh, do you know how to get there?", said Lobelia to Frodo.  
  
"Yes.er, no.", he said, more than slightly embarrassed.  
  
"I can help you there.", said two voices at once.  
  
"Fangirl!", said Gandalf, owner of one of the voices that spoke.  
  
The owner of the other voice, a witch just said, "That's right, but not just a fangirl, I am Galantria, a witch, would you like to see?", and raised her staff at Gandalf in a threatening manner.  
  
"You shall both go as well.", said Elrond, slightly amused. "This might become interesting." he though to himself.  
  
"You shall both have my sword", said Aragorn.  
  
"And mine as well", said a fierce-looking woman.  
  
"And you have my bow.", said Legolas.  
  
"Mine, too!", said another elf, "I'm Belaramiel."  
  
"And my axe, I know, I know, yours, too", grunted Gimli, his last statement to the female dwarf in the corner.  
  
"Yup!", she said.  
  
Elrond just nodded.  
  
"You carry the fates of all of us, little ones. If this is indeed the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done.", said Boromir. "Um, er, I'm coming, too!", said a woman, "I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything better to say."  
  
"Ahhhhhh!", screamed Sam from behind a bush, and Merry and Pippin from behind two pillars, "fangirls!", all six rushed out.  
  
They realized they had jumped in right in front of Elrond.  
  
"Ehh, I guess we're coming, too.", said Merry, Pippin, and Sam.  
  
"So are we!", said all three girls at once, "We are Ruby Hamwich (the one chasing Merry), and Cora and Iris Bramble (the ones chasing Sam and Pippin). Sam, Merry, and Pippin groaned.  
  
"Better stop them before any more volunteer to go", thought Elrond. "18 companions, interesting. You are now the Fellowship of the Ring.", he said.  
  
"More like Fellowship of the Thing, that has no right to be called a ring, it's so tacky!", Qerarien said, behind her hand. All the girls giggled. Every elf at the counsel heard her. 


	2. Off We Go

The Fellowship of the Fangirls  
  
Author's Note: Sorry everyone. In the last chapter I forgot to mention that Lobelia, Cora, Ruby, and Iris are hobbits, Qerarien is human, Belaramiel is an elf, and Galantria is a witch. The female dwarf is Jydda, and Braenna is the other human.  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the original members of the Fellowship of the Ring, Any place in my story, including Middle Earth, or some of the things the Fellowship says.  
  
Chapter Two: Off We Go  
  
The entire Fellowship was cranky as they set off. The guys were cranky because they were in a fellowship with a bunch of fangirls and the girls were cranky since the guys tried as best they could to ignore them.  
  
"I'm bored.", said Aragorn, "We could have had a contest, but we could beat the girls easily. It would be no fun. I'm sure they'd rather put on makeup."  
  
"Or pick flowers.", said Frodo, Sam, and Pippin.  
  
"Or paint their nails.", said Legolas and Gimli.  
  
"Or try on shoes", said Boromir and Gandalf.  
  
All the guys burst of laughing, but Aragorn stopped quickly. Qerarien had just smacked him on the head with the flat of her sword.  
  
"Ow!", he said, "If you weren't a girl.."  
  
"And if you weren't so cute you'd be dead.", Qerarien said.  
  
"Same for you!", said Braenna as she punched Boromir in the stomach.  
  
The hobbits were next. They got a severe beating and were told that they would also be dead if they hadn't been so darn cute. Gimli got his next. By the time Jydda was through with him his head was ringing inside that silly helmet of his. After him was Legolas. He knew what was coming, so he was really careful. If he hadn't been so alert, he wouldn't have moved out of the way in time. An arrow had just missed his head.  
  
"If you ever say something like that again, next time I won't miss.", Belaramiel said with a snort.  
  
It seemed like Galantria did nothing to Gandalf. She just muttered something under her breath and Gandalf felt immense pain for the rest of the night.  
  
After the girls and all the hobbits but Frodo went to bed, the guys stayed up.  
  
"Belaramiel wants to do obscene things to my elfhood.", said Legolas in a worried tone, "Very obscene things."  
  
"Braenna already tried to do obscene things to me.", said Boromir.  
  
"Lobelia wants to do some absurd things to me!", they all nodded in agreement, "And the worst part is, Sam wants in on it!"  
  
The next morning after climbing up a mountain, Frodo and Lobelia decided they would go all the way down and through the mines.  
  
After they got into the mines, of course Pippin and Iris went and knocked a skeleton down a hole. There was much yelling from and Galantria. Actually, Galantria drown Gandalf out with her harsh scolding. He seemed impressed. Then they heard it, the drums.  
  
Well, tell me what you think everyone. Please sent me a review. I need you opinions so I will know how you want the story to go. If I don't get any opinions, I will have to do the story how I want it. This will be quite a long story. Many chapters to come. 


	3. Ai! A balrog!

Disclaimer: I don't own Elrond, the original Fellowship members, all of the settings, or a good majority of the quotes. I will return settings and quotes in working order, as for the boys.they might be slightly bruised for their beatings, but other than that they'll be fine when I return them. Author's note: Thanks for the great reviews. And no flames yet J! There will be many more chapters to come. Sorry, but because of the death, this chapter won't be as funny. I promise the next chapter will be funny enough for both. To yap: Thanks for your review. I was greatly inspired by Tigerbabe who created The Fellowship of the Fangirls and Impossible Circumstances. When I read Impossible Circumstances my family stopped bursting into the room when I went into hysterical fits of laughter after the first chapter. They would just mutter 'There she goes again' and walk off.  
  
Chapter Three: Ai! A balrog!  
  
The fight with the orcs was fantastic. Every member of the team took out a fair number of orcs. Then They brought in the troll.  
  
Just as Legolas jumped up on it to put an arrow through it's head Belaramiel shouted, "Move!"  
  
"No! I'm going to kill this troll!", he said, hanging on and dodging the trolls attacks with ease.  
  
"Fine, if you're still up there when I shoot, good luck!", she said and aimed her bow.  
  
"Alright I'm coming down!", he said.  
  
After Frodo was stabbed, the rest of the Fellowship took down the troll and rushed to his side. Lobelia was hysterical. Then he got up, without a scratch.  
  
"Ow!", he said, for Lobelia had just slapped him, then hugged him, "You had me very worried. How dare you do that to me!"  
  
"I can't put on mascara in the dark!", said Qerarien. The fellowship had to stop so that the girls could reapply their makeup. Jydda was the only not having trouble.  
  
"You're pretty enough already, you don't need to put makeup.", said Aragorn, just trying to shut her up. She had been complaining ever since they got into the mines. But as soon as he said it, he knew he had made a mistake.  
  
"Really?", said Qerarien.  
  
Legolas could hear some of the other girls cooing, "Awww!"  
  
"Ummm-", said Aragorn, but before he could say anything else, Qerarien had squeezed him tightly. He only had enough breath left to say one word, "Help!"  
  
As they left, the goblins came. They took these down with the greatest of ease. Then came the balrog. Everyone had run across the bridge over the shadow but Gandalf and Galantria.  
  
"You shall not pass!", boomed Gandalf.  
  
"Come on you silly wizard, you can't die. If you died who would I obsess over?", said Galantria, trying to pull Gandalf across.  
  
"You shall not pass!", he said again, ignoring her.  
  
When the balrog stepped onto the bridge, it gave way underneath him. As he fell he used his whip to pull Gandalf and Galantria down, too.  
  
"Fly, you fools!", were Gandalf's last words as he and Galantria fell into shadow. When all sixteen of the others were outside, pandemonium occurred. All the hobbits were hugging and crying. I would have said that this was the female hobbit's favorite part of the trip, if they hadn't just lost two of their best friends. Yes two. Gandalf had a better relationship with all of the hobbits than it had seemed. Legolas and Belaramiel were both very quiet and emotionless it seemed, but inside their hearts were broken.  
  
Belaramiel seemed to be more distressed than Legolas so he said, "Tula sinome." (come here), and he hugged her warmly.  
  
Sorry this chapter was so short, but I didn't want to spend to long on a sad point of the journey, after all, this *is* a humor story.  
  
Ok this is where I need your input. Should two of the characters fall in love? It would open up some really good humor that I could write. If so which couple? Please tell me your opinion so I can put it in the next chapter. 


	4. A Long Rest

Disclaimer: I own none of the 9 guys in the Fellowship, or Elrond, though I can't say I would like to. I don't own the settings or some of the lines either. Peter Jackson and Tolkien do.  
  
Author's note: Because of much begging, I am going to do 2 couples. The first will be the elves. Even though that's not very original, I'm going to do it any. My friends begged me to do so. But then I'm placing the decision of the other couple in your hands. Oh and this chapter will be the funny chapter. If you don't like hobbits getting high then I wouldn't read this chapter. Also this chapter does not follow the movie line. And to Bluebell: I'm sorry about the Sam thing. This is a humor story. I meant no offense to Sam (I swear). I rather like him as well. I might actually add a few other "hints" to some of the being gay, but we all know very well they're not.  
  
Chapter Four: A Long Rest  
  
The girls had been complaining loudly. They took a day's rest from their journey. The guys (who wouldn't admit it on their lives) were happy for the break, too. Everyone sat for a while, then got up to explore.  
  
"Not too far", said Aragorn, "We are going to leave early tomorrow morning."  
  
"Had anyone ever told you you'd be a great mother, Aragorn?", said Qerarien, with a laugh.  
  
"Actually, yes..wait, WHAT!", said Aragorn, very angrily. The entire Fellowship laughed.  
  
After a while, everyone had left except Boromir and Aragorn.  
  
"Legolas and Belaramiel have been acting strange lately.", said Boromir.  
  
"Do you not see it, they didn't go hunting! They have been sneaking off together alone! Alone, Boromir.", said Aragorn, slightly amused that Boromir hadn't noticed sooner.  
  
"Huh? Are you serious? We're talking about the elf who threatened to kill Legolas, when he joked about her?", said Boromir, in disbelief.  
  
"Here, I'll prove it to you.", said Aragorn, sneaking into the woods and making Boromir follow.  
  
"Won't we get caught?", said Boromir.  
  
"Not in time for them to do anything about it.", said Aragorn mischievously he looked very anxious to go. When they got to Legolas and Belaramiel, Boromir became angry. They were just hunting in the woods! They turned around and headed back.  
  
If they had been listening more closely they would have heard Legolas say, "I told you it would work. Now let's go before they decide to check on us again."  
  
Meanwhile, the hobbits had been out in the woods, doing what hobbits do best. Eating! They went around collecting mushrooms and other edible stuff, but mostly just mushrooms. After a while they had a pile large enough to satisfy even eight hobbits (including one with an abnormally large appetite, even for a hobbit). They ate all of it. Then they started to fell very strange.  
  
"Hee hee. Look at the pretty colors!", said one of them. They all laughed, and laughed, and laughed. They were high! Aragorn and Boromir rushed into the clearing the hobbits were in. They knew immediately what was going on.  
  
"Uh, hobbits, which kind of mushrooms did you eat?", said Aragorn, trying not to laugh.  
  
"Aallllll of them!", they said, and laughed harder.  
  
"Uh, oh! That means they ate the little blue ones, they're high!", said Boromir.  
  
"Yea! Said Aragorn, laughing almost as hard as the hobbits.  
  
After dark, everyone had come back to camp, and the mushrooms had worn off. They were all exhausted. They slept well into the night, and set off by afternoon of the next day.  
  
Well, there's the fourth chapter, tell me what you like (or don't) about it. If I can get ten votes for who the next couple should be within 3 days, I'll put the most popular choice in the story. 


	5. Haldir's Mistake

Disclaimer: I own none of the nine guys in the Fellowship, Elrond, Galadriel, Haldir, Or Celeborn. Just the nine girls in the Fellowship. I do not own some of their lines or the settings. (Hey I'll trade the nine girls for the guys..Tolkien?)  
  
Author's note: This chapter will start out funny but end in a slightly (only slightly) serious situation. Sorry in advance. Also, if you like Haldir (I do), I'm extra sorry to you but someone had to be the bad guy/elf in this story (and I'd rather it wasn't Gimli for obvious reasons if you read the story). Also, I use a lot of elvish in this chapter, but it is translated in parentheses beside the phrase.  
  
Chapter Five: Haldir's Mistake  
  
"Stay close, young Hobbits! They say that a great sorceress lives in these woods. An Elf-witch of terrible power. All who look upon her fall under her spell and are never seen again. But here's one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily.", said Gimli.  
  
"And if she does, I'll give her the beating she deserves!", said Jydda. Both dwarves laughed loudly. All of a sudden they were all looking at very pointy arrows. Legolas had just enough time to pull out his bow, but he was greatly outnumbered. Belaramiel had been able to duck under the bow and sneak up behind who appeared to be their leader. He was a tall, blonde elf, with pointy ears and..oh, sorry back to the story.  
  
"The dwarves were so loud-", said Haldir, but Belaramiel interrupted.  
  
"Hello Haldir.", said Belaramiel, still unnoticed by Haldir. This startled him, which is rare in an elf.  
  
"Hello, Belaramiel, long time no see, eh?", he said.  
  
Legolas wondered at this, "What does he have to do with Belaramiel?" By the smile on Haldir's face, he had more to do with Belaramiel than Legolas wanted. Haldir and Belaramiel talked for a while, like good friends. Although when he mentioned their past meetings, Belaramiel just mumbled something and looked away before changing the subject.  
  
As Haldir led them back Legolas put his arm around Belaramiel's waist. Haldir gave him an icy glare. Legolas knew what his meant, it meant war.  
  
They went in to talk to Galadriel. She kept saying things in the hobbits' minds that made them laugh. She laughed with them. I think she was telling jokes. Jokes? Galadriel? Go figure. Then she got serious.  
  
As she welcomed the rest of them, she said softly into Legolas's head, "Watch out for Haldir, he's one grabby elf.", as she said this, she nodded towards Belaramiel. Legolas understood. Then she said something in Fordo and Lobelia's heads that made them cry. I wonder what she said? Maybe she just looked really creepy, like she does from time to time.  
  
"Enjoy your selves.", she said, then to Celeborn, "Make sure they're comfortable here, slave boy, err, I mean Celeborn."  
  
They all went out to explore the city. Legolas made sure to stay with Belaramiel. So did Haldir.  
  
"Legolas this is Haldir, he's an old.friend.", said Belaramiel.  
  
"A pleasure meeting you.", said Legolas clearly not meaning it.  
  
"It's been so long since I've been here. I am going to go ahead, I'll see you when you get to the gardens.", said Belaramiel.  
  
Legolas waited until she was out of earshot and said, "Auta miqula orqu, Amin feuya ten' lle!", (Go kiss an orc, you disgust me!) said Legolas to Haldir.  
  
Haldir just laughed and said, "I would, but Belaramiel isn't an orc, is she?"  
  
Legolas punched Haldir. Haldir fell unconscious to the ground.  
  
"Oops!", said Legolas just before he ran to catch up to Belaramiel.  
  
The day before the Fellowship left, Belaramiel was walking with Legolas.  
  
"Haldir said that he has some important things to discuss with me before we leave, I'll be back soon.  
  
That's when Galadriel came from behind Legolas and told him, "Follow her."  
  
"But what do I do when Haldir tries something?", said Legolas, hoping for an obvious answer.  
  
"Kill him, he's prettier than me. If he's dead, then I'll be the prettiest elf in Lothlorien again!", said Galadriel. That was the answer Legolas had hoped for.  
  
When he caught up with her, she was already with Haldir. They were in one of the gardens, most of the Fellowship was there, too.  
  
"Well, he won't try anything while they're all around.", Legolas thought.  
  
That's when Aragorn said, "Quel du, Haldir, Belaramiel, lye anta kaim." (Good night, Haldir, Belaramiel, we need to sleep.)  
  
"Quel kaima, mellonea.", (Sleep well, my friends.) said Haldir.  
  
Legolas was worried. They were now alone. (or Haldir thought so anyway, heh heh) Would Haldir try something now? Yes.  
  
He began by whispering things in her ear that even Legolas couldn't hear.  
  
She would say things like, "That was a thousand years ago, you still remember that?", or, "That was your idea.", and sometimes even, "If Galadriel knew you did that she would have banished you! And me too!"  
  
After a while Haldir kissed her. When he tried to back away he just grabbed her and pulled her back. That's when Legolas came out if hiding. He came out from behind the tree and pointed a well aimed arrow at Haldir's throat.  
  
"You move, you die. You speak, you die. You ever, EVER, look at Belaramiel again, you die.", said Legolas. Haldir ran off and Legolas and Belaramiel joined their companions in sleep.  
  
The next morning, before they left, Belaramiel went to "take care of unfinished business". The entire Fellowship knew what had happened. On their way out of the woods, they saw a very bruised Haldir hanging from a tree by his pants. They all just laughed and went on their way.  
  
Sorry again to those who like Haldir. What did everyone think? 


	6. Another Rest

Sorry this one took so long, I had a major case of writer's block.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the nine fellowship guys, Arwen or Haldir. I will return them all, I promise.  
  
Author's note: Yet again, I am taking a break from the story line. This will be kinda like 'A Long Rest'. I have decided that I am going to follow all the way through all of the movies and on after that. I probably won't follow well with the end; I might just do things how I think they should have been done after Return of the King. I will keep it fairly similar though. It will be hard since I will have nothing to go by, so bear with me. Oh and also, I am going to bring Arwen into the story and I will also bring Haldir back for another chapter (this chapter). The beginning of this chapter will handle Aragorn and Qerarien by bringing Arwen into the story, and I'm just going to bring Haldir back for fun. I have no explanation for how Haldir and Arwen got there, but do I really have to?  
  
This is the chapter where the ring gets lost! You won't believe how!  
  
Chapter Six: Another Rest  
  
The Fellowship is ahead of schedule, so they decide to stop for one more rest. The fangirls and their obsessions are becoming very close. Well, all except for Aragorn and Qerarien of course. Qerarien understands this for, like Aragorn, she is very wise.  
  
Arwen rides up for no apparent reason and says, "Vedui' il'er." (Greetings everyone)  
  
"What are you doing here?", said Aragorn, quite surprised to see her.  
  
"I was shopping out of town and decided to check on you.", she said.  
  
Despite the fact that Arwen had something Qerarien wanted (Aragorn, of course) they got along very well. After a while of talk, everyone got up and went to explore and find amusement. Sam, Cora, Frodo, and Lobelia decided to wander about, Pippin, Iris, Merry, and Ruby followed Boromir and Braenna around just to annoy then. Boromir and Braenna tried to get away from the four hobbits to find some peace. Aragorn, Gimli left to collect firewood and Jydda follows them. Qerarien and Arwen talk at the camp.  
  
Legolas and Belaramiel take a walk at the water's edge. Legolas and Belaramiel walk for quite a while until, out of nowhere, Haldir shows up.  
  
"Lle au'?", (You again?) said Legolas, "Mankoi naa lle sinome?" (What do you want?)  
  
Haldir said, "I am sorry for what happened in Lothlorien, Galadriel has sent me to apologize, and also, I am joining you and your companions for a short time."  
  
"Oh no, lle lakwenien?", (are you joking?) said Legolas.  
  
"I am not, mellonamin.", (my friend) said Haldir.  
  
"I can forgive him if you can, Legolas.", said Belaramiel, in a 'trust me' kinda voice.  
  
"Manka lle merna.", (If you wish.) said Legolas. He was clearly not convinced that Haldir was sent by Galadriel.  
  
They all met back at camp during the afternoon. When Arwen out that Haldir was going with them she decided to go too.  
  
"Now I can make sure Aragorn washes his hair.", Arwen thought.  
  
A small group of orcs attacked. There were only forty or so, nothing the fellowship couldn't handle. Sauruman was bored, he was only trying to amuse himself, he didn't expect them to even lay a scratch on the fellowship. Sauruman was strange like that.  
  
"Ow!", said Frodo, "That last orc bit my hand!"  
  
"Ok now that all of them are dead, let's check on the Ring.", said Lobelia, not trusting even the most adorable hobbit in Middle Earth, since she thought he would lose it.  
  
"I just had it.", said Frodo searching all his pockets and the ground, "Uh oh, I had it in my hand when that orc bit me. He must have swallowed it!", said Frodo, getting very nervous from the look that Lobelia was giving him.  
  
After a while they decided on how they would get the Ring back. They were going to cut through the orc and then someone would have to retrieve it.  
  
"But we don't know which orc swallowed the Ring!", said Aragorn, "We'll just have to find it."  
  
After about ten orcs, they found the one that had the Ring in it.  
  
"Now someone has to get it.", said Arwen, knowing what would come next.  
  
"Eww!", said the whole group. Then everyone looked at Haldir.  
  
"I'm not gonna get it!", he said knowing that he was losing the argument already.  
  
"Yes you are!", the rest of them said.  
  
He bent down and fished the ring out.  
  
"Here, someone, take it!", he said.  
  
"No way!", they said.  
  
He knew that he would have to carry it all the way down to the river to wash it. When he came back he handed the ring to Lobelia and said, "You make sure I never have to do that again.", and shot Frodo a terrifying glance. 


	7. The Breaking of the Bottle, oh and the F...

Disclaimer: Don't sue me, all you'll get is a tiny T.V. and an old computer. I just borrowed from you, Jackson, and Tolkien. I'll give them back, I promise!  
  
Author's note: Sorry this chapter has taken soooo long! I was having problems with my keyboard. And unfortunately, creativity, a sense of humor, and a keyboard are vital parts of my story. Anyway, Here's the part just before the Two Towers so you'll have to wait just a bit longer one the next chapter. Sorry! Also, I'm bringing my story counterpart into the story for driving Haldir out. I'm going to be the Haldir fangirl! (I'm really more of a Legolas fangirl, but I don't write Mary-Sues. Unless I get to torture the Fellowship into madness and stalk Legolas ! I know how much yall hate to hear someone make themselves perfect in their own stories, and believe me, I not perfect in any of my stories! Just insane and slightly annoying. OK, really annoying! Anyway.) And do you think I should bring in a Gollum fangirl for TTT? Oh, and if you haven't guessed already, Qerarien and Braenna are from Gondor. And sorry again, but this is quite a dramatic part and I couldn't make all of is funny. I played it by the script pretty much, except many times lines are altered a little to fit the story. I'll definitely have something new in the next one. BTW most (only most) of these lines are from memory so I didn't get all of them right.  
  
Chapter 12: The Breaking of the Bottle, Oh and the Fellowship, too: Part One  
  
"We cross the lake at nightfall, hide the boats and continue on foot.", said Aragorn.  
  
"We will approach Mordor from the north.", said Qerarien.  
  
"Oh, yes?", said Gimli, "Just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil? An impassable labyrinth of razor-sharp rocks?"  
  
"And after that, it gets better!", said Jydda, "Festering, stinking marshlands as far as the eye can see!"  
  
"That is our road, I suggest you both take some rest and recover your strength.", said Aragorn.  
  
The dwarves looked at each other.  
  
"Recover our, bah!", said both together.  
  
"Ah!", said Arwen. She had red liquid all over her lap.  
  
"Arwen, where are you hurt?", said Aragorn.  
  
"I'm not hurt! My nail polish bottle broke all over my clothes and now they are ruined! I must go home to Rivendell quickly!", she said before hugging Qerarien and leaving. They were the best of friends.  
  
Qerarien heard Aragorn mumble, "Where's my hug?"  
  
I slight rustle came from the bushes.  
  
A tall elf girl popped out and said, "Haldir! Looky, Nienna! It's Haldir!"  
  
"Yay! Where, oh I see him! Let's go!", said a smaller elf as she stood.  
  
"Ok, goodbye, must be off!", said Haldir as the two chased him off out of site.  
  
"Why didn't you notice them before, Mr. We don't need any girls to help us 'cause we can do it all?", said Belaramiel, know that he had.  
  
"Um, maybe they just got here?", he said, obviously happy that Haldir was gone.  
  
"Hey where's Frodo?", said Ruby.  
  
"And where's Lobelia?", said Merry.  
  
Boromir and Braenna were gone as well.  
  
************  
  
Boromir was collecting firewood and Braenna accompanied him, and Lobelia and Frodo were wandering.  
  
"None of us should wander alone. You least of all. So much depends on you.", said Boromir.  
  
"Frodo? We know why you seek solitude. You suffer. I see it day by day. Are you sure you do not suffer needlessly? There are other ways, Frodo. Other paths that we might take.", said Braenna.  
  
"I know what you would say, and it would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my heart.", said Frodo, handing Lobelia the ring and stepping in between her and the advancing humans.  
  
Warning? Against what?, said Braenna, watching Lobelia with hold the ring.  
  
"We're all afraid but to let that fear drive us to destroy what hope we have. Don't you see, it's madness.", said Boromir.  
  
"There is no other way!", said Lobelia.  
  
"We ask only for the strength to defend our people!", said Boromir. He threw the pile of wood he was hold and it scattered across the ground.  
  
"If you would but lend us the Ring.", said Braenna.  
  
"No!", said Frodo and Lobelia together backing away from Boromir and Braenna.  
  
"Why do you recoil, we are not thieves?", said Boromir.  
  
"You are not yourselves!", said Frodo.  
  
"What chance do you think you have? They will find you. They will take the Ring. And you will beg for death before the end!", said Boromir.  
  
Secretly, Lobelia slipped the Ring to Frodo and he put it on. As Boromir and Braenna tried to grab her Frodo pushed them back onto the ground.  
  
"I see your mind!! You will take the Ring to Sauron! You will betray us! You go to your death! And the death of us all! Curse you! Curse you and all the Halflings!", said Boromir.  
  
They look to see that Lobelia had gone.  
  
"Frodo? Lobelia?", said Braenna.  
  
As Frodo takes off the Ring and Lobelia comes out of hiding, they see Aragorn and Qerarien coming.  
  
"Frodo? Where is the Ring?", said Aragorn.  
  
"Stay back!", said Frodo.  
  
"Frodo, Lobelia! We swore to protect you.", said Aragorn.  
  
"Can you protect us from yourself?", said Lobelia.  
  
Frodo pulls out the Ring.  
  
"Would you destroy it?", said Frodo.  
  
The Ring whispers to Aragorn and Qerarien, "Aragorn! Qerarien!"  
  
Aragorn walks up and closes Frodo's hand on the ring.  
  
"We would have gone with you to the very fires of Mordor.", said Qerarien.  
  
"We know. Take care of the others, especially Sam and Cora, they will not understand.", said Lobelia.  
  
Aragorn sees Sting glowing blue.  
  
"Go! Run! Run!", he said. 


	8. Continuous breaking couldn't think of be...

Chapter 7 p2: A Continual Breaking  
  
"Go! Run!", the word echoed through his head.  
  
The battle sounds behind Frodo and Lobeila were getting more distant. They heard the orcs coming and hid behing a tree.  
  
"Hide here! Quick! Quick!", said Merry, Pippin, Ruby and Iris from their hiding place, not too far away. Lobeila just shook her head, they must leave.  
  
"They're leavin' ." ,said Merry.  
  
The Orcs were coming fast. The four hobbits jumped from their hiding places and said, "Go! Run!" then they drew the orc's attention from the tree. Frodo and Lobeila ran to the edge of the water.  
  
They were just paddling off when they heard, "Frodo! Lobelia! in the distance. It was Cora and Sam.  
  
"Go back!", they shouted. Sam and Cora tried to swim to the boat, but fell beneath the surface of the water.  
  
Lobeila and Sam helped them into the boat.  
  
"I made a promise, Mr.Frodo, a promise.", said Sam and he hugged Frodo. The girls them a funny look, but then ignored it.  
  
******  
  
Merry Iris, Ruby, and Pippin were in trouble. Boromir and Braenna rushed to thier aid. They were doing well until they were wounded with arrows. After that they tried, but when they were too wounded to go on, Aragorn and the others ran to their sides.  
  
"They took the little ones.", said Boromir.  
  
Aragorn, Qerarien, Gimli, Jydda, Belaramiel, and Legolas stayed with them to thier last moments.  
  
"Hurry! Frodo and the others have reached the eastern shore!", said Legolas.  
  
Aragorn just sat down and Qerarien shook her head.  
  
"You mean not to follow them?", said Belaramiel.  
  
"Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands.", said Qerarien.  
  
"Then it has all been in vain.", said Gimli.  
  
"The Fellowship has failed.", said Jydda.  
  
"Not if we hold true to each other.", said Aragorn. "We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have strength left. Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light. Let's hunt some Orc.", said Qerarien.  
  
They run off into the forest. 


	9. Peacful Rest

Chapter 8: Resting Peacefully.  
  
Author's Note: If you want a story that follows the movie exactly, get it somewhere else. I can't do it. I tried but this will NOT be a romantic chapter. Don't like it? Then there's no reason to read and flame.  
  
Aragorn and Qerarien sat close to the fire, plotting the rest of the unexpected hunt. Gimli and Jyadda were arguing over whose ax was bigger. And lastly, Legolas and Belaramiel sat in the shadows of the tall trees quite possibly asleep.  
  
"No.", said Aragorn, "We should keep moving. We can't stop until we've found them."  
  
"Okay, we'll take a vote.", said Qerarien, "Who says we stay here for the night."  
  
All three girls raised their hands. When Jydda noticed Gimli's hand down she smaked his helmet with her ax and made it ring. He slowly, and very shakily, rasied his hand. They were staying there.  
  
Qerarien stuck out her tounge at Aragorn showing victory. Suprisigly, Aragorn returned the gesture and sulked.  
  
"Well, while we're here, let's do some exploring.", said Legolas getting down.  
  
"Okay.", said Bel jumping down next to him, "Anyone else wanna come?"  
  
"I'm staying right here.", Aragorn huffed.  
  
"I'm going to stay here and see this.", said Qerarien pointing to Aragorn, "It seems he has been overuled by a woman too many times and he's snapped!"  
  
"I'm going to stay here and see how long it takes for Gimli's hemet to stop ringing!", said Jydda.  
  
All Gimli could do was say, "It hasn't stopped quite yet."  
  
They went into the woods and started to examine thier surrondings. It was a beautiful place to explore. Many colorful plants opened during the night, and the beasts were friendly. After a while they started to hear low, pained moans. They followed the noise and came to a small man laying on the ground.  
  
"Looks like he's been hit on the head.", said Bel.  
  
She examined him, "What strange clothes he's wearing."  
  
They had never seen them before, but he was wearing orange cargo pants and a forest green t-shirt with orange lettering that said "Abercrombe and Fitch" on it.  
  
They picked him up and carried him back to camp. Aragorn was still pouting and Qerarien was laughing at him. Jydda was listening to Gimli's helmet ring.  
  
Qerarien saw the man first and screamed, "Who is THAT?"  
  
"Err, we found him in the woods. He's been hit on the head.", said Legolas as he put the man down.  
  
Suddenly the man got up and said, "Hey, where's my car?"  
  
"Um...car?", said Bel.  
  
"Yeah, and my CD player!", said the man.  
  
"I think this man has gone mad!", said Jydda.  
  
"Hey, I ain't mad. . .I jus' want my stuff back.", said the man, as he turned to look at all of them, "Hey you, were'd you get them pointy ears and wacky clothes. Yall look like you came out of LotR."  
  
"Errr, lotr?", said Aragorn.  
  
"Wow! Are yall goin' to a LotR costume party? I got me one, too. Lemme go change.", said the man.  
  
He left and came back in all grey with huge plastic eyes.  
  
"He look at me I'm Goll-", said the man, but Qerarien had come from behind and hit him on the head with a rock.  
  
"Quickly, get this crazy man out of here!", she said.  
  
Legolas and Bel hid him in the woods and went back to camp. Everyone fell asleep worndering what a seedy player was. 


	10. Get Off Him!

Chapter 9: Get Off Him!  
  
Frodo sat up quickly and shouted, "Gandalf!"  
  
Lobeila and Sam both shouted, "Frodo!", and grabbed to him.  
  
Cora, felt very left out grabbed to Sam. Lobelia looked at Sam for a moment, then kicked him.  
  
"What is wrong with you? Get off him!", she shouted.  
  
They walked for a long time over the rocky barren land. They were getting weary, and the girls cranky when they saw Mordor.  
  
"Mordor. The one place in Middle Earth we don't want to see any closer. It's the one place we are trying to get to. It's just where we cant get.", said Sam.  
  
"Frodo! Did you lose the ring?", asked Lobelia.  
  
"It's right here.", he said and showed her the ring, "What food is left."  
  
"Lembas.", said Sam.  
  
"Lembas.", said Cora.  
  
"And more Lembas!", said Sam.  
  
They walk on for a very long time.  
  
"This place looks familiar.", said Cora, "Ai! We've been walking in circles!"  
  
Suddenly the hobbits hear some noises behind them and see Gollum being chased around by a tall, beautiful woman.  
  
"Eep! Theives!", said Gollum as they saw him, then he turned around and saw the girl again, "Ack! Theives, help me! Help me! Fangirl!"  
  
Lobelia and Cora smiled and walked over to greet the girl, "Hey! wassup?"  
  
"Gollum! Sweetie! Don't run! I just want a kiss!", said the girl.  
  
Gollum was hiding behind Frodo and Sam with a terrified look on his face. The hobbit-girls snuck up behind him and bound him with a rope.  
  
"Yay! We caught him!", said the girl, "Oh, by the way, my name is Venesa."  
  
She danced around with a screaming Gollum for a few minutes and went back.  
  
Frodo looked at them, "Err, by chance, do either of you know the way to the Black Gate?"  
  
Gollum signaled that he knew, but wasn't telling while Venesa jumped up and down and said, "Oooh! I do! I do! Pick me! I had to follow Gollum there once, got to see him strapped to a table, and, and there was big ugly things, and, and-"  
  
"That will be quite enough.", said Cora after putting her hand over the girl's mouth, who was still trying to talk.  
  
Cora put her hand down and the girl kept going, "with white hands on thier faces and burning trees! Oooh! They were pretty!"  
  
"This is going to be one long trip.", muttered Sam. 


	11. Conclusion

Fellowship of the Thing:  
Conclusion This chapter is the conclusion, I hope you enjoyed this fic, I just feel  
this would be a good time to end.  
  
"Well, I had a rough time following Aragorn before the fellowship.", Qerarien said, "He was always on the move!"  
  
Aragorn looked at her, "So that's who was following me! And I thought I was going insane!"  
  
"You are already insane.", she said.  
  
*flashback*  
  
Qerarien sat behind the door to Aragorn's room at the Parncing Pony. She was nearly killed when it flung open and a hobbit flew in. She noticed another hobbit sneak in and hide under the bed.  
  
Aragorn looked at the door suspicously and said, "I can see you over there!"  
  
Frodo, the hobbit that was thrown through the door said, "You're mad! What do you want from me?"  
  
"Uh, just be more careful with that ring, okay!", he said testily.  
  
*end flashback*  
  
Qerarien laughed, "Frodo thought you were mad!"  
  
"See? I knew it was you!", said Aragorn.  
  
"Well I had some trouble as well, Legolas was on the move forever!", said Bel, "I almost deicded to go stalk Haldir, but I found out they were going to Rivendell and then later on Lorien and I couldn't resist. I went on what you would call a prince-seeing tour."  
  
*flashback*  
  
Bel was hidden in the trees alongside the road. Legolas among other elves was traveling along on the road. Bel rolled her eyes and turned off the road when Legolas said, "Must I really go to Rivendell? Why can't father come do his own little message-thing?" This caught Bel's attention and she followed close behind all the way into Rivendell.  
  
*end flashback*  
  
"I had no problems whatsoever!", Jydda said cheerfully, "I just pretended to be casually walking and no one troubled me. And I don't do flashbacks."  
  
*flashback*  
  
Jydda was sitting in the middle on the floor, pasting flower stickers on the inside if her notebook.  
  
*end flashback*  
  
"Hey! Didn't I say no flashbacks??", she said.  
  
*******  
  
Vanesa looked at them and said, "Well, there was that torture thing, I was going to do something but he blabbed and they let him go."  
  
*flashback*  
  
Gollum screeches the whereabouts of the ring and Bilbo Baggins. Vanesa, who was hiding behind the torture table made a clicking sound and muttered, "Snitch."  
  
*end flashback*  
  
"We were being tortured by the nasssty orcsss.", said Gollum, "They hurt usss! They hurt usss!"  
  
Lobelia looked at her and said, "We hobbits didn't have a cakewalk either."  
  
*flashback*  
  
Frodo, Merry, Sam, and Pippin jumped into the hollow space under the roots of a tree. Lobelia and the other hid on the other side of the tree. Pippin threw the bag and it landed on Lobelia's head. She looked at it frightenedly and threw it before the rider could see them.  
  
*end flashback*  
  
***  
  
Qerarien laughed, "So we have had our troubled times, and our good, but now we have to come toghether and serve the little justice left in the world.  
  
*** As Qerarien spoke this Lobelia said something similar to the others.  
  
"We have had times to spare, and time to share, but now we must right the wrong and help the world." 


End file.
